In the second part of our series on black rhetoric, the art of negative influence, we address a particularly unpleasant form of manipulation: provocation. Provocateurs torment us with little digs at family gatherings and personal attacks in business meetings, as well as conversation-stopping phrases and insinuations in panel discussions. They twist our words with generalizations and exaggerations, managing to corner us in public debates. But we can fend them off with our next Lilit strategy!

Manipulation, part 2: provocation

Or: the battle for the audience’s favor

Provocation is pure manipulation — a devious strategy: the provocateur tries, in public, to elicit behavior or a reaction we would not otherwise have shown. They must know our weaknesses well enough to use their tactics sparingly. If they appear too aggressive, they risk losing the audience’s sympathy. But once provocation puts us on the defensive and we become emotional or aggressive, their strategy has worked: suddenly we lose focus, make sweeping absolute statements, forget our prepared arguments and expose ourselves — naturally in public! Particularly unpleasant: in the worst case, the audience adopts the view of us that the provocateur wants. We then appear emotional, unprofessional and incompetent. We also give them openings for further attacks — a vicious circle.

My strategy against provocation:

STOP!

  • The first rule when provoked is “Stay calm and keep a cool head.” Do not take the bait; recognize the provocateur’s manipulative intention. Breathe deeply and imagine their attacks rolling off you like water droplets off a lotus flower.
  • Only then respond: do not immediately defend yourself against the provocative remarks. Instead, return the ball with a question. A simple “Why?” is often enough — now the provocateur has to explain.
  • Prepare one or more standard “airbag phrases” for such situations, to protect yourself, gain time and mentally prepare your arguments when attacked, such as “Oh, very interesting — is that really the case?”
  • Identify ad hominem attacks (personal attacks) for what they are, exposing the lack of substance in the provocateur’s argument.
  • Avoid generalizations even under attack. Instead of statements using “never” or “always,” make it clear that things are rarely entirely black and white. This keeps the argumentative advantage in your hands.
  • The provocateur wants to create conflict, so make de-escalation your principle and demonstrate your composure to the audience.
  • And crucially, keep a composed, confident smile — that will throw the provocateur further off balance.

(Image source: Alexas_Fotos at pixabay.com) PS: Want even more strategies and rhetorical tricks? Then subscribe to our newsletter, book our individual Lilit public speaking coaching (Lilit seminar: defending against dark rhetoric and manipulation) or our Lilit Training in the Art of Argumentation.