Whether discussing the refugee crisis or the energy transition, sometimes we get nowhere: positions harden, however many facts and logical arguments we present. When emotional common ground disappears, factual argument becomes futile. Lilit therefore bases persuasion on the method of strategic empathy. By changing perspectives, we continually consider the other person’s gut feelings and ideas. This empathy gives us a strategic advantage and makes lasting persuasion possible.

Facts versus instincts

Why do we humans react so irrationally to facts? This cute animated video from SocialGoodNow.com offers fascinating insights from behavioural research. As so often, the answer lies in earlier stages of brain development: survival once depended on belonging to a tribe. Our instincts therefore tell us to trust our tribe’s established thinking rather than try something new. Our brain classifies dissenting opinions and facts that shake our worldview as threatening . The more threatened our worldview, the more fiercely we defend it. We not only close ourselves off to opposing views, but reinforce our established thinking (the “backfire effect”). Tribal thinking has another damaging effect: we feel less empathy for people we see as belonging to another group.

Persuasion through empathy

How can I persuade people with different views to change their minds? The video proposes two strategies:

  1. Emphasise common ground: because tribal thinking shapes us, we must first show the other person we belong to the same group. We do this by highlighting similarities: background, biography or small things such as shared preferences and interests, including sports. We signal, “We are members of the same tribe.” This opens doors to persuasion.
  2. Admit when we are wrong: acknowledging mistakes and openly questioning our own “facts” sets an example and shows, “Nobody has a monopoly on truth. Changing your position is not the end of the world.”

These approaches are a good start, though certainly not the final word. You can learn specifically how strategic empathy works in campaigns and negotiations in our Lilit coaching for politicians and leaders . If interested, simply get in touch with no obligation: contact us! Featured image: screenshot via socialgoodnow.com