Lilit Kommunikation
The debating method: reaching your goal with pros and cons
The author of ‘Pro und Kontra – Die Debating-Methode’ shares strategies for verbal exchanges and shows how to reach your goal with pros and cons.
The debating method
How to reach your goal with pros and cons
The debating method helps you hold your own in any verbal exchange. How? By mastering familiar everyday disputes in a new way. Sometimes you lack arguments; sometimes you meet strong opposition. In these situations, debating opens up new thinking through a shift in perspective. I’ll reveal how to apply debating strategies directly to everyday differences of opinion—and strengthen your persuasive power!
My book “Pro und Kontra – Die Debating-Methode. Das professionelle Debattieren in Coaching, Training und Beratung einsetzen” was published in 2019 by BELTZ publishing house. As the title suggests, I tried to build a bridge between the world of competitive debating (there’s an article about it here) and practical application in everyday life—specifically, the life of someone who does NOT debate.
The debating method: a strategic change of perspective
These days, I’m less concerned with the formal framework of debating than with strategies that use simple thinking patterns to help you in everyday situations.
In life, as in debating, the goal is of course always to persuade! But when I use the debating method—the debating mindset—I think of much more. Debating is repeatedly about daring to change perspective. This takes you much further than stubbornly repeating rejected arguments or using manipulation (find out how to deal with it here).
Changing perspective means that when we put ourselves in someone else’s shoes, we have a chance to achieve a genuine change of attitude. The other person doesn’t merely agree with you in that moment. They change their opinion and, in the best case, even become an advocate for your beliefs.
Pros and cons in everyday life—here’s how!
During a typical working day, you probably encounter some of these four common situations. I’ll show you how to use debating-method strategies to handle them successfully.
Finding arguments
You want to advocate new measures in your company. You’re convinced they’re the right thing to do! But you still need more arguments to get all your colleagues on board.
Debating methods: Thematic arguments, stakeholder analysis and more
In debating, looking beyond your immediate surroundings generates new thoughts, ideas and arguments. Who is affected? Who is actively involved—and who ultimately bears the consequences? Problems and topics often share a basic structure. Debates about bans, for instance, are often similar: the argument for free choice and each adult’s personal responsibility can be used both in a debate on legalising cannabis and in a discussion about allowing doctors to provide online information about abortion. The debating method helps you organise your thoughts and develop new ideas. Ask yourself: which topics relate to your idea? Which arguments are most effective in that area? Then use them by applying them to your situation.
Handling objections
Your ‘favourite colleague’ is far from enthusiastic about your idea and voices objections loudly and forcefully.
Debating methods: Defuse attacks, avoid manipulative strategies and—as an advanced skill—respond competently to the substance of critical objections and questions.
Depending on the situation, debating helps you persuade on a factual level or supports you when inappropriate attacks arise. Best of all, with a little practice you can combine both! My tip:
- Has he crossed a line? Address it calmly and factually, or plainly point out the breach of the rules and set a boundary. You can also fire back with humour, launch a counterattack or gently mock your colleague’s loud delivery. This can look confident but always carries risks, because it may escalate the situation further.
- Next, counter the substance of the attack. Explain both sides: which parts of his criticism are generally true but don’t fit this situation? Where is the flaw in the reasoning? Fairly acknowledge where counterarguments are good, while showing that your points are better and carry greater weight.
Speaking to suit your audience
You’ve won your colleagues over—now you need to win over your female customers too. But they think very differently and simply don’t respond to the arguments that worked for your boss.
Debating methods: Strategic empathy and changes of perspective; developing creative lines of argument with the active–passive matrix, devil’s advocate and onion methods
Debating offers many strategies for identifying everyone affected by your proposal in any way. As devil’s advocate, for example, you can adopt the perspective of an extremely critical customer. Write down everything that would matter to you in this role, and what you would like or object to in the idea. Then return to your own perspective and analyse: from the customer’s viewpoint, what speaks for and against the idea? Pros and cons here means that every issue has advantages and disadvantages—for every individual! To help the other person recognise this, you can demonstrate your idea’s relevance and benefits using different formulations and methods. Stay flexible, because every audience needs its own focus on what matters to them.
Speaking with clear structure
As a leader, you also have a representative role and must now deliver greetings and anniversary speeches for long-serving colleagues. But you’re unsure and want to come across professionally. What is the best starting point? How do you maintain a clear thread?
Debating methods: Argumentation, detailed and overall structure, a clear thread—all are daily bread in debating.
A clear idea of a speech’s goal makes it much easier to stay on track. Starting from there, debating helps formulate any spoken contribution clearly and to the point. Early in my debating experience I learned an important mantra: ‘Structure, structure, structure!’ The more clearly you see your speech’s skeleton, the easier it is to bring it to life. Basic principles of argument structure, such as SExIR (State–Explain–Illustrate–Relevance), help you maintain the right discipline in delivery and never lose sight of the goal.
Debating needs to leave the nerd niche!
Anyone who knows me knows competitive debating is my great passion. Some may now be wondering what ‘debating’ and a ‘debating tournament’ actually are. Ask me, and I can spend an entire evening telling old ‘war stories’: how I won the German Championships or how I reached the World Championships quarter-finals twice in a row . That is why I’ve tried to briefly summarise the basic principle in a separate article about debating (click here!). And for anyone who would like to try a debate themselves, I’ve even compiled a list of my favourite topics (click here!) .
For the debating method, though, all you need to know is that this is where my idea originated. I was active in the debating community for over ten years, both in the German-speaking and international scenes. And yes, they exist! With tournaments, their own committees, clubs and plenty of gossip. All held together by a passion for the contest between pros and cons.
That makes the scene wonderfully nerdy and endearing—but it has also kept debating from reaching the place it really belongs: with all of us! Debating remains a relatively unknown phenomenon viewed critically in Germany, while abroad it has long been recognised as an important tool. So I decided to write a book aimed specifically at NON-debaters. At its core lies a treasure for all of us, one we should uncover for our society.
Want to improve your speaking style?
If I’ve now sparked your interest in debating or further strategies, you’ll find more ‘food for thought’ on my blog. Look forward to posts on rhetoric, ‘good leadership’ and strategic communication:
- Whether bluffer or provocateurs, name-dropping or playing the victim —read every part of our series on manipulation and outsmart the dark rhetoricians!
- Read more about how reading strengthens our empathy and how persuasion through strategic empathy works.
Would you prefer active, intensive learning in practice? Explore our Lilit seminars and coaching:
- If you want to actively improve your speaking style, I recommend training in presentation, in self-presentation or Coaching where you work specifically on strong rhetoric.
- Managers work on Lead through communication in the seminar of the same name. We prepare your emerging talent for the future with social skills . Alongside empathy and teamwork, communication is one of our most important leadership tools.
- And if you want to strengthen your position in a dispute while keeping others on board, conflict management coaching is just right for you. Whether entrenched positions or stress in the team, you’ll learn solution strategies and analytical tools here.
The next step
What conversation is coming up for you?
Additional guidance for this article
The Debating Method: exploring perspectives and making a clear case
The Debating Method uses a clearly defined question and contrasting positions to make arguments explicit and open to examination. In professional settings, what matters is what you learn from changing perspectives and how you then put that insight into practice.
From competitive debating to professional practice
Competitive debating has defined speaking times, roles and judging criteria. In a training session or meeting, these rules need to serve the learning objective. Do you want to structure arguments, understand objections or prepare for a decision? An exercise should state that objective explicitly.
Marietta Gädeke combines her debating experience with her work on communication and strategic empathy. Her book “Pro und Kontra – Die Debating-Methode” explores this approach in greater depth. A specific challenge provides the starting point for deciding which format suits your situation.
Exercise: understand a position before you challenge it
Illustrative example: a team is discussing whether internal meetings should generally be limited to 25 minutes. First, formulate an argument in favour: a claim, a reason and an example that others can follow. Then develop the strongest argument against it.
Deliberately switch sides. Summarise the opposing position in a way its supporters would recognise. Only then respond with your own argument. Afterwards, consider: which assumptions differed? What information is still missing?
What the method can offer—and where its limits lie
A structured debate can reveal different perspectives and make arguments easier to examine. It cannot replace missing facts or responsibility for a decision. In a personal conflict, a conversation to clarify the situation may be more useful initially than exchanging arguments for and against.
If you would like to explore this approach, an argumentation training session lets you try it out using a relevant professional question. Part of the process is learning to distinguish sound arguments from statements that merely sound persuasive.